I was pondering a while if I should write this in my blog. Rather public. On the other hand, I wrote about so many personal stuff in here that I thought it might not be too personal now.
The last 4 weeks since my mum's accident were stressful to say the least. Driving to the hospital, taking care of her when the nurses were too overworked to do their job, finding a place for her after they kicked her out of the hospital (I really couldn't take care of her in this condition at home), arguing with bureaucratic hardheads who "just do their job", worring about the money the nursing home will cost us (since the health insurance doesn't cover a short term accomodation in between treatments - and no, no one told us that beforehand), finding a new place in the geriatric clinic where they will mobilize her better to - finally - get her into rehab. (The last part is not final yet unfortunately, there is still the chance that the health insurance denies the application and then we're back to square one.) All of this, while at the same time getting my work done (business is slow in winter but still existing and the slower the more precious every customer is) would have been enough. But then there was my mum as well. Old age didn't do her good. She is impatient, irrational, prone to severe mood swings. Her leg is mending well but her mind is not whole. Which means that one day I can have the nicest person in ther world and two hours later I get an irrate call about something I said or didn't say or might have said some years ago or that she thought I would do or say.
These mood swings, the verbal abuse, her aggressiveness is usually not easy to cope with but normally the good days outweigh the bad days. The last 4 weeks the bad days lasted longer and longer and by the beginning of this week I was emotionally and physically completely exhausted.You get to the point when every word hits you hard in the chest until you stop breathing.
I could need some distance, some break but unfortunately, there is no one to cover for me. At least the geriatric hospital where she is now is really good, much better than the nursing home and I don't need to feel guilty when I don't visit her every day.
Since my creative streak is next to not extisting right now, I didn't do much. I am knitting a simple raglan sweater (necessity) and I did a pillow case for neighbourly friends.
Yeah, not the most creative thing. These neighbours of mine saw a tie pillow case in one of the upclass furniture stores in Frankfurt (Germany) and it must have been really expensive so they asked me if I could sew them one. They are nice people and I like them very much. And they don't judge me for not being like all others. They organized some old ties from another neighbour and I said yes. Being confronted with half a dozen tacky polyester ties I regreted my decision for an hour or so and then realized the challenge ;o) Make do with what you have. So I took the least ugly tie (the one with the tiger, in other circumstances I would really like it, not made of polyester though) as a center piece and combined all other ties around it.
I was a bit freaked out by the thought that someone actually seemed to have worn these ties. But my dearest husband, himself a corporate animal, assured me that he has colleagues wearing similar ties ... made of polyester. (I'm not sure what freaks me out more, teddy bears on the tie of a grown man or the polyester part *g*)
It's nothing I would have done voluntarily but I learned a lot. Sewing polyester is not actually my thing but it works if you use a backing fabric (some old flanell). If you have to make do with what you've got, move the ugliest fabric to the corners and the seams ;o)And note that creases and folds in polyester won't iron out.
And thanks again Jude for all we were allowed to learn from you up to now. The pillow case is not the best and most creative example but I've learned so much. Especially your invisible basting is invaluable. But most precious is a certain kind of attitude towards stitching, sewing and fabric.
I am not sure when I will get my energy back to post and comment and participate and stitch and sew and dye and be creative. At least I won't be absent without leave now.